


Sickness

by Roadswerered



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Family, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Poisoning, Psychological Trauma, Recovery, Sick Character, Sickfic, Sleep Deprivation, Trauma, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:31:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roadswerered/pseuds/Roadswerered
Summary: Prompt: After all the times they laced his food with drugs or poisons, he doesn't trust any meal that he didn't make himself.





	Sickness

The harpy boy knew many things about himself. Most importantly, he knew his own limits better than anyone. He’d been pushed too far too many times, and he knew what he was like on his last leg. He never wanted to feel like that again. That sickly feeling that lurked in his broken bones; the blacking out every time he moved too fast; bile lurking at the back of his throat. He knew the limit. And he hated it. However, despite hating that he had a limit, there was something he hated more. Namely how small that limit was. Anyone that looked at him could tell there was something wrong with him. The scarring around his eye was beginning to heal, but it would never be back to normal. Eyes don’t grow back. He could fly again now, but if you touched his wings, you could feel the rough scars that covered them. He had gained some weight since being granted his freedom, but he was still dangerously thin, and too much food to fast made the ground sway beneath his feet. His limit was small. And he hated it.

Now, Styræ was resting on his bed, Spirit asleep on the bunk beneath him. They were sleeping a lot more now, which made him feel a little more relaxed. He worried easily, especially about them and Icesi. He smirked, thinking over it all. Icesi had been a lot happier now that her ‘brother’ was recovering. The harpy boy didn’t understand how she could view someone so corrupt as family, but he understood the two elves had a long history. Icesi was sleeping in Xerfith’s room, but he might go and visit her later if he still couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t the only one in this dorm who wasn’t sleeping, but the others had gotten up and left a while ago. There were four people per room, this one consisting of Spirit, himself, Capricorn, and Sagittarius. This set up worked well, considering none of them were ever asleep for more than an hour or two, so wouldn’t disturb each other upon waking up in the middle of the night. The two brothers had gone out a while ago to do whatever adults did, and Spirit was still resting. Styræ didn’t like being alone, but he was used to it. Being alone was exhausting, but he couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to. He ran his hands over his face, before slipping out of bed. He needed to do something.

Walking across the deck of the boat was nice. The sea air was calm and soft, and reminded him of home. The sound of the waves lapping against the hull was calming, and the repetitive noise gave him something to focus on. He didn’t really know where he was going, but he knew the fresh air would help. He stood up against the edge, folding his arms atop the ship’s rail, and staring into space. It was nice here. He felt calm, relaxed, safe. Well, as calm as he could be. This ship was serving well as a temporary hide out, but how long would it last? It wasn’t exactly stealthy. It had been a last minute ‘Oh gods, we need a place to run away and literally nowhere is safe. Does anyone own any land? No, well we’ll steal a boat then.’ It was amongst the worst of plans Styræ had ever heard of, but he had no authority to complain. This plan had saved his life, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He ran his hands over the longer parts of his hair. He always played with his hair when he was feeling twitchy. Having something soft to play with kept him calm, but he hadn’t had access to soft things since the island. Even if he could go back there, he didn’t want to. He’d seen too much now. And besides, that place was burnt to the ground. Gone. No point in thinking about it any longer, right? 

“You’re up late.” A voice behind him caused him to jolt. The harpy boy turned to see no one, which rewarded an eye roll.

“You ghosts are more than a little annoying.” He grumbled, turning to face the sea again.

“Old habits die hard. I’m sorry. You alright?” Capricorn appeared beside him, sat atop the railings.   
“Fine. I’m fine. You just spooked me.”

“That is what ghosts are known for.”

“Yeah. It is, huh?”

“You sure you’re ok?”

“Why?”

“Normally me saying something like that would make you laugh. Or at least smile. But, right now? No offence kid, but you look like death.”

“I’m tired. Like you said, I’m up late.”

“Something keeping you awake?”

“Nah. Just can’t sleep.” The harpy fiddled with his hair again, avoiding eye contact and staring down at the sea below. 

“Not a fan of the sea either?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just not tired.”

“You just said you were.”

“Are you saying you’ve never been tired but unable to sleep for no reason?”

“Ok fair.”

Silence fell on the two again, and the only noise was that of the waves gently lapping against the boat. Neither of them were all that talkative, but the company was nice. They both needed someone, but hated people. “Do you want me to go get someone else?” The ghost asked after a while. “I know I’m not the best at all this comforting stuff. They say that the most experienced people give the best advice, but that ain’t true, is it?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sound like me, which really isn’t a good thing. I’m getting my brother.”

“Don’t.”

“Is there someone you want me to get?”   
“No one. I- I should go. I’ll be ok.”

“Are you sure?”   
“Stop asking.”

“Alright. I’m heading to bed now, so call if you need anything.”

“See you later.” Styræ waved over his shoulder, before returning to exploring the deck.

He could feel that he was close to his limit. Despite the fact he had been taking a lot more care of himself, he had bad days. He went too long without sleeping regularly, and he still wasn’t eating quite enough. He was still weak, and he hated it. He should probably go to bed, or get something to eat, but both of those options sounded difficult. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep, and his stomach never settled. Well, there was no point lying and staring into nothingness. Risking feeling a little worse was better than nothing. He yawned, before creeping into the ship’s kitchens, hoping no one else would be there. He couldn’t face people right now. Not whilst he felt like this.

And of course, hope was futile. Someone was stood in there, their face turned away from Styræ. “Hello?” The harpy boy spoke in a quiet voice, but loud enough to be heard. And instantly regretted it.

The figure turned around, and that face was unforgettable. Charcoal grey skin, decorated with golden freckles; minty green eyes that were filled with both deceit and a strange affection; pointed ears that had one too many piercings; and that smile. Well,he wasn’t smiling now. He looked different. Instead of his formal and elegant outfits he’d worn during his time working for the King, he was just dressed in a casual shirt and jeans. He looked so out of place, but at the same time? He seemed a little better than before. “Oh. Styræ. It’s- How nice to see you.”

“You too.” If he had felt sick before, it was nothing compared to the sudden dread that seeped through his veins now. Blood pounded in his eardrums and every cell in his body was screaming for him to run.

“Icesi was hungry, so I got up to make her something. Do you need anything?”

“ ‘m fine. Lost my appetite.” That wasn’t a lie. The second he saw that face, he knew that if he ate something, it wouldn’t stay down.

“Sure?”

“Yup.” 

“Please look after yourself.”

“That’s rich.”

“I’m sorry. I just know there is a lot of people that care about you. Me included. I know I never showed it, but- I can’t see you destroy yourself now that you’re free. You- Is anyone looking after you? Please don’t recover alone.”

“Spirit’s doing their best, but they aren’t so swell themself.” The harpy nuzzled into ‘his’ hoodie. It was something he had borrowed from his human friend. The soft fabric distracted him from the pain that swarmed through his skin. “Look, you think there is a problem-”

“There is. Look at you, Styræ. I’m worried. Let me make you a bite to eat, ok? You’re quite literally green.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m going back to bed.”

“...Get some sleep.”

“I’ll do my best.”

He half-ran half-flew back to his room, which only made his sickness feel worse. When he landed, his head was throbbing with a sharp pain, and his limbs couldn’t hold him upright for much longer. He pushed through the door, barely aware of his surroundings anymore, surprised when it didn’t open. He pushed again with a little more effort, and still no success. “It’s a pull door.” A voice from the otherside called, but he could barely focus at this point. He pushed again. And again. “You ok there?” The door finally opened with the help of someone from the other side, but his vision was too blurred at this point. “Kid? What happened?”

“‘m fine. Just need sleep.” Styræ stepped around the ghost and headed to his bunk, only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

“You need a lot more than sleep. Brother, can you get over here? Kid looks like he’s dying.”

“I’m trying to sleep, Cap.”

“Yeah, but this kid on the verge of death and your hyperempathy won’t let that slide.”

“What do I value more? Being a good person? Or sleeping?”

“How is that even a question?”

“Fiiiiine.”

The conversation turned into fuzzy nothingness in the harpies head. He needed to go to bed. He would be fine if he went to bed. He tried to pull away, but the grip on his shoulder was too strong. He stretched his wings out to push the person off, which worked, but at the price of his energy. He took a step towards the bunk ladder, his body screaming in pain. People were talking to him again, but the words were white noise. Another step. And another. He was almost there. He was so close now. And then it all turned to black.

“Styræ? Kid, I need you to wake up. Come on, you can’t stay asleep forever.”

“Hey! Go easy on him, he just collapsed.”

“Aren’t you supposed to like, pour water on people that collapse?”

“No! You’re supposed to look after them until, and after, they wake up!”

“I’m...I’m not…” The harpy boy’s eyes began to flutter open. “I’m fine…”

“Kid. No. Bad.”    
“Who...are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s probably just a little bit dazed. Give him time.”

“Why does everything hurt?” He groaned, trying to work out who he was talking to.

“When was the last time you slept? Or drank anything? Or ate?”

“I don’t… I don’t count.”

“It’s too late for this. I’m going to get one of the girls.”

“Nngh.” Styræ groaned, trying to speak. “No more people. Just- Just let me go to bed.”

“Styræ. Stop this. You need help.”

“I still can’t work out who either of you are.”

“Can you see anything?”

“Everything’s all blurry. Where am I? What-” His voice trailed off again as a spike of pain shot through him.

“...Yeah I’m definitely going to go get one of the girls. Cap, you make sure he stays awake.”

“You got it.”

“I’ll be as quick as I can.”

Everything hurt. Parts of his body he didn’t know existed hurt. He slowly pushed himself up onto his elbows. His vision was blurred, but it was slowly coming around. He could just about make out the shape of the ghost sat in front of him. “Cap...ri...corn?”

“The one and only. How are you feeling?”

“Where am I?”

“On the floor. Your room.”

“Can I be alone?”

“Sorry kid, not whilst you’re like this.”

“Why not?”

“Because. We’ve left you alone as much as we can, but you’re wasting away.”

“Stop…talking.”

“Kid? What’s wrong?”

“Too loud… Head hurts. You’ll wake Spirit up, too.”

“Spirit woke up when you collapsed. They went to go get your friend.”

“I need to be alone.”.

“We can put you up somewhere to be alone once you’re stable. But until then? You need looking after.”

“No!” Styræ jolted, trying to stand up, only to stumble again.

“Kid, stop this. Do you want me to get you into bed?”

“Leave me alone.”

“I’m not going to hurt you.” Capricorn reached out hesitantly, but his hand was slapped away. 

“Don’t touch me!”

“Ok! Ok! I won’t touch you!”

“I’m- I’m going to go.”

“Where?”

“To be alone.”

“Then I’m following you.”

“Don’t.”

“Can you even stand up?”

“I’m fine.” The harpy slowly pushed himself to his feet. He could feel his heart thumping in his head, and he knew if he took another step, he’d collapse. However, he had to prove he could handle this, even if he couldn’t. Sure, he could admit to himself that he was weak, but he couldn’t let anyone know how frail he was.

“Do you need a hand?”

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” 

“Alright. Alright. Maybe just, sit down until my brother and Spirit get back?”

“I’m fine.”   
“Don’t pull that gimmick on me.”

“I’m fi-Ah!” His words dissolved into a shuddery groan as pain spiked through him. For the most part, the ache was just dull noise he could ignore if he forced himself to, but every now and then, it spiked. It shot through him like a knife and it was all he could focus on. 

“Kid, what’s happening?”

He tried to form words, but he was too overwhelmed. His legs gave way and he collapsed to his knees again, dark spots clouding his vision. 

“Styræ, talk to me.”

“Nngh… No…” His hands went to his hair, nails digging into his skull. Make it stop. He needed the pain to stop.

“I would go get help, but I can’t leave you alone. You’ve just gotta hold on until the others get back.”

“Make it stop.” It came out as a whimper. A weak, scared, whimper. He cursed himself for how weak he sounded. How weak he  _ felt. _

“We’ll help, kid. We’ll make you better. I promise.” Capricorn’s voice filled with empathy, which was surprising for both of them. The ghost put a hand on the teenager’s shoulder, but this time the gesture wasn’t rejected.

“Can’t… Can’t stay awake.”

“I can’t let you collapse again, either.”

“If I sleep… I’ll be better… Just need… I just need to sleep.”

“Has this happened before?”

“Does- Does that matter?”

“It has, hasn’t it?”

“You...You’re so loud.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“Too loud…”

“Kid, you’re eyes are all blurry. Can you hear me?”

“Loud…”

“Kid, I said you aren’t allowed to pass out on me agai- Oh it’s too late, isn’t it?”

  
  


“Which bit of “Don’t let him pass out” did you fail to understand?” Sagittarius groaned into his hands upon entering his room again. He stared down at his younger brother, eyes full of judgment and irritation. 

“I understood! I’m just not good with kids. Or people in general” 

“You can say that again. You are hopeless, brother.”

“Hell yeah! But, now what did you do? I see you also failed to get help.”

“It is one in the morning. Everyone is asleep. I felt too guilty to wake them up.”

“Everyone on ship is asleep?”

“Yup.”

“Where did Spirit get to? They left before you and they’re still not back.”

“No idea, you know what that kid is like.”

“If they’ve been kidnapped again, I’m gonna kill someone.”

“Reminder that it was your fault they got kidnapped the first time.”

“You know what? Fair. Anyway, I’m sure they’re fine. We’ve got another kid to deal with.”

“How long since he passed out?”

“Five minutes?”

“Gods, he’s getting worse.”

“Get Xerfith.”    
“What? No. No. No. No.” Sagitarrius grit his teeth and growled slightly. “I will do many things, brother, but I will never trust my boss with an injured kid.”

“He knows Styræ way better than we do. Apparently this isn’t the first time this has happened.”

“Do you really think this is a good idea?”

“Do you have a better one? Sure, you’ve dealt with me when I have passed out in the past, but neither of us are flesh and blood. I don’t even understand how all that stuff works.”

“Alright. I guess I’ll go and get Xerfith then. I cannot believe that is a sentence I just said in this context, but here we are!” The ghost turned on his heels again, heading out and across the deck of the ship.

Sagittarius’ relationship with his boss was… complicated. That was the only way of saying it. They despised each other, due to the fact their ‘friendship’ was built on lies, but they had fallen asleep holding onto each other multiple times in the past. They were the closest of friends, but would rather never speak to each other again if they could. As he walked the short distance to his bosses’ room, he couldn’t help but notice that his heart was beating a little faster than usual. He knocked on the door, creating a sharp noise. He didn’t feel guilty about waking the elf up. “Boss. I need a hand.”

“Mmph?” Within a few moments, the sleepy dark elf was stood in front of the ghost, eyes barely open. “Who is- Forest? Oh. What do you need?”

“Styræ is passed out in my room. My brother thought it’d be best if you came to help. Oh yeah, and have you seen Spirit? They came to find Icesi and they haven’t come back.”

“Yeah, they’re in here. When they came here, they were on the verge of tears, so I’ve been helping them get to sleep.”

“That’s surprisingly kind of you.”

“I do have a heart, Forest.”

“Don’t call me that. Anyway, I think you’re overlooking the fact that your ex-slave is a wreck and you might be able to help.”

“Alright. Just let me get these kids to sleep.”

“Be quick.”

When Styræ awoke, everything felt wrong. He was tucked into a bed that wasn’t his bunk, a cold, damp cloth on his forehead, and pain crawling through his skin. He tried to sit up, but a soft voice stopped him. “Don’t move.”

“Mmph?”

“It’s me, Xerfith. The ghost brothers asked me to keep an eye on you.”

“Why you?”

“Because this isn’t the first time I’ve had to look after you whilst sick, is it?”

“I wouldn’t call that ‘looking after’. How long have I been out of it?”

“Well, Forest called me at one in the morning, and it’s about eight-ish now.”

“Seven hours? That’s a lot…”

“A lot more than seven hours…”

“You mean eight at night?”

“Yup. How are you feeling?”

“Better than last night, but not great.”

“You’re still weak.”

“Where am I?”

“We put you up in one of the spare rooms on your own. We think it might’ve been a captains room? But this isn’t our ship so we can’t be sure. Either way, you kept begging to be alone whenever you were awake, so you can be on your own here as long as you need.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Someone has to keep an eye on you.”

“Leave me be.”

“I’m going to get you something to eat, ok?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong with food, hmm? I thought after being starved for years, you’d be begging for it.”

“Just- No. I’ll make myself something.”

“You aren’t supposed to get out of bed. Let me help, for once.”

“No.” There was a strange authority to the harpy boy’s voice as he slowly sat up.

“Would it be ok if someone else cooked?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong, Styræ? I’ll let you go without as long as you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Why would I tell you?”

“You don’t have to tell me. But you have to tell someone. I don’t care who, but this cannot continue.”

“Can I be alone, please? I- I’ll call if I need someone.”

“Ok. But I’m holding you to that.” Xerfith rose to his feet, slowly walking out of the room, leaving the harpy boy alone.

Who could he talk to? Especially when his reasonings were so stupid. So paranoid. So childish. So weak. He hugged his sides, curling around himself. He felt too warm and too cold at the same time and it just felt wrong. He pushed the blankets off of him, stretching his wings a little. Maybe if he got up, he’d feel better? He slowly stood to his feet, but fell back onto the bed. Looked like he was staying in here whether he wanted to or not. That meant all he could do was talk to someone. But who? The person he felt safest with was Spirit, but he didn’t want to bother them. He didn’t want to bother anyone. There was no one that he felt able to talk to, but he knew he just needed to get the words out. He knew, whether he wanted to or not, he couldn’t keep hiding this from everyone.

The next person to check up on him was Capricorn, which made him feel a little better. Out of all the adults hiding on this ship, the harpy trusted him most. Would it be ok to talk to him? It had been Capricorn that had helped him through his episode last night. Styræ also knew for a fact that the ghost was familiar with his own share of trauma. Maybe he’d understand. Maybe it would be ok to open up.

“Hey, kid?” His voice was soft, and strangely reassuring.

“Yeah?”

“You look worried. Anything eating you?”

“I’m not sure…”

“So, you are sure and don’t wanna tell me?”

“You’re good at this.”

“I’ve spent enough time in your position to know when to recognise it. Besides, you were really out of character for you last night. Like, seriously. Something was seriously wrong.”

“I’m… I just feel bad.”

“You haven’t eaten in 24 hours, could that be it?”   
“Maybe.”

“Do you want me to get you something?”

“No!” It was a knee jerk reaction, but his pain always spiked when someone asked that question.

“Alright, alright. Breathe. Do you want to talk about...why you keep doing that? Or are you just keeping it quiet for now?”

“I- Xerfith said I need to tell someone…”

“You don’t have to take orders from him anymore, but I gotta say I agree. If you don’t open up a bit, we’re going to end up with a repeat of last night. No one wants that.”

“...He used to poison our food.”

“What?”

“Using violence against slaves was outlawed a few years ago… But there’s no law against poisoning them.”

“Kid, I- I don’t actually know what to say. That’s horrible.”

“I didn’t want to tell anyone. I- I didn’t want anyone to worry! I’m- I’m sorry.”

“I’m glad you told me. I can promise you, Styræ, no one is going to do that to you again. You’re safe here. You’re free now. No one’s gonna hurt you.” The ghost rested his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “We’ve got you, ok?”

“ ‘m sorry.”

“It’s ok. You did nothing wrong. Hey, how about this? I’ll make you something to eat, and you can watch me do it. Alright?”

“I- You wouldn’t mind?”

“Course not! If it makes you feel safer.”

Styræ didn’t know what to say to that. He stared down at his hands for a few moments, thinking it over. No one had ever tried to make him feel safer. He slowly sat up, looking up at the ghost beside him, before pulling Capricorn into a tight hug.

“Kid? Everything alright?”

“Thank you.”

“Heh. Nothing to thank me for. As long as you’re ok. And, Styræ?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t ever feel like you need to hide something like that again.”


End file.
